Sunday, April 1, 2012

Ground Control to Major Holiday

Hello there all! This is Ed, Ilana's husband and full-time travel companion. I'm usually the one holding the camera while Ilana shares something fascinating about diverse cultures celebrating joyously throughout our wonderful city.
Each week we have been featuring how cultures far and wide have come to settle into New York and how you can join in on observing the celebrations that come with them. It's only been a few months and already we've started to cover the globe pretty well. So far, Greece, Korea, India, Indonesia, and Japan have "come to us" via the holiDAYtrips blog.

But for today's holiday, we've set our sites on a culture that comes to us from not just far away, but far, far away.

To say that this holiday is a bit more controversial than our usual observances is an understatement. There are people out there that say it isn't really a holiday at all -- just a marketing ploy to get people to buy hand-made head coverings and exotic ingredients (more on that later). There are even people who suggest that the culture on which it's based isn't real. But we, here at holiDAYtrips, are not subject to those prejudices. We embrace all cultures equally and are willing to celebrate anything so long as it doesn't hurt. Much.

So without furthur adieu, we are happy to bring you:

The Intergalactic Day for the Education of Terrestrials about Extraterrestrials

Otherwise known as ETET, this day is fast becoming one of the most important days on the moon of Pontwan's lunar calendar, as it brings together the cultures of our planet and those from distant star systems. Ever since the Kepler Mission uncovered thousands of planets in our near universe, it has become clear to many scientists and astrologists that we are very much not alone. Even Stephen Hawking has taken the stance that we have intergalactic neighbors and may even have to worry about what they're up to.

You may be surprised to know that ETET has been observed for centuries by Incan and Egyptian kings and even the Founding Fathers of the U.S. That's because, due to people of power being the only ones emissaries from solar realms would contact, most folks in the general public needn't be concerned about inter-stellar relations.

Early ETET invitation
And even though their constituents may have been a bit in the dark, that didn't stop them from celebrating ETET with lavish celebrations, intended to pay respect and homage to peoples from other worlds.

Leftover grafitti from wild ETET party
Today, people celebrate much more openly as we come to know much more about our intergalactic brethren. Still, because of prejudices against "space monsters," most people still celebrate in their own homes.

One popular ETET tradition is the drinking of the Green Sludge. Green sludge is basically a milkshake that is allowed to ferment with alien spores from the Horsehead Galaxy. The spores are found in the craters of meteors and sold at Whole Foods Market and Trader Joe's. Here's our favorite recipe!

  • 4 Cups Squirrel Milk
  • 1 Tsp Antler Powder
  • 1 Shot Hot Sauce
  • 1 Pinch Dried Horsehead Galaxy spores
  • 4 Eyes of Newt

After extracting the milk of about 4 adult female squirrels, mix it with the antler powder and hot sauce (we prefer Texas Pete's but any vinegar based hot sauce will do). Sprinkle spores on top until they spread out over surface of the milk -- it will begin to react immediately. Again, make sure they're dried, as fresh ones are unstable and would consume all of the oxygen on Earth. BE SURE NOT TO INHALE ANY OF THE SPORES. Cover and rest on window sill overnight. In the morning the drink will be thick and slimy. Garnish each portion with eye of newt and enjoy! (Serves 4 humans and 2.5 valerians.)

Another thing that people will do is attempt to meet aliens from a nearby star system. To do this, one needs to attract an alien race, as well as prepare for the abduction. You can start by emulating one of the aliens you are trying to attract. The most popular way is to dress like that alien, such as wearing an alien headdress. Here I tell you all you need to know about trying to attract an alien abductor.

I am happy to report that our efforts were a success! And, it's a good thing that there's plenty of evidence of our alien adventure, as my memory is pretty hazy.

The Morning After
Alien Pedicure
Green Sludge...Great for Hangovers!

Oh! And, Happy April Fools Day! (If you believe in that sort of thing.)

Eep Op Ork Ah-Ah,


The “Packing List”

This week, we were rocking the following:

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